As with all opportunities afforded to me, I tend to take advantage of every avenue. A proverbial gathering of rosebuds, so when I found myself in the heart of Oxfordshire with a fair amount of free time, I did what anyone good natured, young, socialite would do. Drink as many beers made in the United Kingdom as I could. And I must stop myself already because I didn’t go as full force as I would have envisioned. No, I was stymied by the international constrictions placed upon my credit card. I had no troubles using it, but it became more of a hassle the longer each night went on. Each purchase required signature, per “unnamed bank’s” international credit card policy, which grew to be so much of a hindrance that it transcended all levels of inebriation. Sober me couldn’t deal with having to sign each receipt for each three-to-five-pound beer. I suppose there was some level of trepidation involved in my mental calculus as I was in a foreign land, uncomfortable yet with the lack of service and my general surroundings. The crux of my soliloquy here is that, to everyone’s surprise, I was only embarrassingly drunk one of the nights I spent in Oxford. Which is honestly beneficial to this piece, as the Oxford Beer Review would lose some of its teeth had the writer been “drunk off his tits” the whole time.  

I’ve ranked the beers I had the privilege of trying in descending order so of course we start with the worst of the bunch. I would be remiss to not highlight my friend David, for he led me upon this journey with as much gumption as you would hope for. I cannot thank him enough for his insights, both in and out of pubs, and his general willingness to help me conquer as many beverages as I felt appropriate. 

Bulmers: Crushed Red Berries and Lime

Admittedly, not a beer. This cider was too sweet to be worth the amount of words I am dedicating to it now. If you have a sweet tooth and an alcohol problem, this is probably for you. 1/10 would not recommend. 

Asia Pacific Breweries: Tiger Lager

I feel like I’m giving Tiger a bad shake here because it was so delicious (in context) that I was shocked to hear it was a common beer. Pictured above is my meal from Banana Tree and I cannot stress enough how good this lager was with my meal. Quenched my thirst while also tempering the sinister spice pallet I was devouring. 6/10 would recommend, please pair it with your next Asian cuisine choice.  

Making Time’s Golden Ale  

Okay, this one’s on me guys. I have this in my notes from my trip and I can’t for the life of me remember much about it. There is a smiley face next to it, so I believe that I enjoyed it at the time. 5/10 purely for the bell curve.

Peroni Nastro Azzurro 

Not the only Italian beer on this list surprisingly. I only got to try this one in a bottle which I consider to be not a “fair-shake.” Refreshing, light, incredibly easy to drink; which checks my list of everything I want in a beer. I experienced this beer in all three vessels: can, bottle, and draught. 7/10 would absolutely pay the high import price for this on American soil.   

Camden Town Brewery – Byron Lager 

I couldn’t find a good picture of this on the internet and the picture I have doesn’t show it all. The beer is hidden behind an absolute monster of a chicken sandwich that had an onion ring on it. I can definitely see where Americans get their food proclivities. But the Byron Lager was full of flavor, and didn’t fill me up at all. Crisp, very little foam, a perfect beer to pair with dinner, or lunch. I didn’t evoke much Lord Byron whilst drinking it which is regrettable. He’s a borderline transcendentalist and I bet he smashed beers in his time.   

Nicholson’s Pale Ale  

Pictured above is Nicholson’s Pale Ale on an outdoor table at The Crown. A local pub in Oxford whose crowning achievement (see what I did there) is that it used to be an old haunt of one, WIlliam Shakespeare. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that The Bard crushed his mug of ale at this very table and caught the inspiration needed to pen A Midsummer’s Night Dream. I will not speak to the salacious rumors that Shakespeare didn’t write all of his plays, I will not. But Nicholson’s Pale Ale was so good that I stayed long after my meal to enjoy two more. Something about those English taps, the beer just pours better. I could watch them work for hours, as long as the beer was flowing. A pretty dry flavor, but overall a smooth swallow. Don’t worry I hated writing that sentence just as much as you did reading it.

Dirty Bones Lage – Mondo Brewing Company

The very first beer I had on my trip to England so it feels a tad special. The Dirty Bones Lager, no doubt named after the restaurant I ordered it at, was surprisingly good out of the can. A traditional lager with little foam and a lot of taste. I remember immediately contacting David with WhatsApp; “This Dirty Bones Lager is setting the bar high for English beers.” He quickly rebutted with me, promising to show me the good stuff as the week went on. You’ll find that the rest of the list is indicative of his claim.

Birra Moretti

The second, and final Italian beer to make the list. An absolute gem of a beverage, this light European lager was surprisingly easy to drink. I found myself ordering a third before I realized I had finished my first. Not a hint of bitterness laces the glass and I imagine myself strolling the Amalfi Coast. 8/10 definitely worth a try.  

Camden Hells Lager

I am becoming painfully aware just how many lagers are on the list, and my apparent unyielding desire for them transcends my subconscious. Crisp beer, kind of reminds me of what I would consider a German beer. A cursory Google search confirms my suspicions as it’s a combination of a Helles and a Pilsner. I was not offered a large drinking mug which is regrettable but I enjoyed a few of these over at Slug and Lettuce with my coworkers.

Let the Dragon see the Wolf

No doubt inspired by the tale of St. George and the dragon, this storied ale is rich with floral notes. A smooth pour leads to minimal head and evokes the flavors rife in this Styrian, Golden ale. I perused my way through this one on the bank of the Thames, at a pub named Head of the River. A lovely spot, though honey, gave way to various conversations with patrons both near and far. I could muster only a smile as I consumed this elegant journey, 9/10 please go experience this.

Neck Oil by Beavertown

And finally, number one, Neck Oil by Beavertown. The name itself is a testament to how well this beer drinks. An extra pale, session IPA, it lathers your esophagus and makes you prone to spilling secrets. I spent about 30 quid alone on this beer, post my coworkers leaving, at a pub called Old Tom. While watching cricket I was properly roasted for my accent first, and upon patron realization, for being an American. Shout out to James, Sue, and Thomas for being right, proper English and showing my lonesome soul a good time.

No stretch to say I quite enjoyed my time in Oxford, sampling beers, food, and culture. Though my list does invoke a ranking, I can’t say I truly disliked anything I experienced. Oxford has this idyllic aura about it, with and without inebriation, a town that emanates history, truth, and perseverance. Look for my next post as it discusses this topic forever.